Feeling You
by hexacamas7 and augestine
Summary: Kishu just can't forget Ichigo. How can he ever escape the pain of losing her to another man, when so much of his heart just longs to see her again? KishxIchigo


_Hey there people! This is fan fiction by moi…hexacamas7.…and all things go to their rightful owners (except for this idea, of course! XD )_

_Come on hold my hand,_

_I wanna contact the living _

_Not sure I understand,_

_This role I've been given._

I'd never really been in love before I met her and I never really think I will be again. See, it's been four years since I've seen her shining face and her beautiful eyes boring into mine.

"Kish!"

I can still hear her voice calling out my name. It's like an iridescent dream filling my head with the thoughts that will never be complete without her here in my arms. But she'll never be here and I have to stop thinking about her. She's there, back on her home planet fighting evil, juggling high school, and googly-eyeing that damn Masaya. Lucky bastard. He has no idea what kind of spell the girl he has the privilege of even placing his lips upon hers, has on me.

Everywhere I turn I see her looking at me in that way she has, her little ears sprouting up out of her head when she blushes and the way she called my name….that day when the darkness came to take me away…

"I love you, Ichigo. Anyway….holding you-even for a moment. It's so precious…" As I faded away I heard her calling out to me in such desperation my heart swelled and held onto her in it forever. "Kish!!! You can't die!!! Noooooooooooooo!!! Kish?!"

_I sit and talk to god_

_And he just laughs at my plans,_

_My head speaks a language, _

_I don't understand._

Sometimes just thinking of her makes my heart feel heavy. She has a control over me I've never understood, but I do know that she doesn't think about me the way I always think about her. It was evident when I heard of her "marrying" Masaya.

Guess I don't need a happy ending, right?

"Kishu!" I heard a familiar voice call out my name and I turned slowly to greet the young man before me who had a huge smile on his face. "What's up Tart?" I asked gently, trying to control my vague jealous feeling for the person who could go to Earth and visit the girl he loved as often as he pleased. "I just got back from hanging out with Pudding. You look down, you okay?" I don't know what it was about the way he asked but it gave me a feeling that I would explode if he sounded any happier about being with his damn loved one. "I'm fine." I responded carefully contorting my face into one with a smile.

He eyed me carefully before smiling again. "Okay, if you say so man. I think I'm starting to talk a little too much like a human." He finished with a small blush before he turned around and walked away.

I sighed a little and turned around to go back to staring off the edge of the balcony. I was dressed in a suit with a crystal glass containing some champagne in my left hand. I always drank a little when I thought of her. The taste of those delicious grapes in my mouth seemed to fade out the pain in my chest a little bit.

_I just wanna feel _

_Real love fill the home that I live in_

_Cos I got too much life _

_Running through my veins_

_Going to waste_

Today I had met the soon-to-be-engaged girl I was meant to be with. She was very nice and she had an incomparable beauty…well….almost. There was one beauty she could never quite compare with…I shook my head quickly. I needed to forget Ichigo but I just couldn't. She was everywhere in my head and it was just as unbearable as always.

I sighed aloud to myself and turned to find my betrothed standing there with a small smile on her face.

What was she expecting from me, a fantastic swoop of taking her in my arms and running away into the sunset type "hello"?

Uhhhh…no.

"Kishu, are you sure you're okay with marrying me?" She asked gently as she stared at the ground beneath her feet. I didn't answer, just stood there and finally whispered "I'm fine with it." It felt mechanical that way but in a way that's how marrying someone I could never love the way I had loved before felt. Like a chore. Just a motion of the day.

_I don't wanna die_

_But I ain't keen on living either_

_Before I fall in love_

_I'm preparing to leave her_

As soon as the words were out of my mouth I walked right away from her. I couldn't stand to be around a girl who made me remember why I hated this life of mine. Didn't I give up on Ichigo? Why do I still feel the memory of her touch send shivers down my skin and uncontrolled lust through my veins?

Eventually I ended up on the place I never meant to be: Earth. My eyes searched the familiar places I would find her. Those pretty red locks reminded me of her fiery temper and the way her being angry made me laugh. A dull ache resounded through my body from my chest caused me to stop remembering things like that. Why was I here?

"Ki….Kish?" I heard a hesitant voice ask through sniffles. I slowly turned around and my eyes took in her illuminant figure, radiant in the light of the moon. What in God's name was she doing out in the middle of the park this late at night?

I honestly couldn't care less, because here she was!

She had on her school uniform a little shorter than it used to be, her falling down past her chest in waves. She had tears falling down her blushing cheeks, always red for some reason or another. She was taller and her face had the look of someone who had grown into their own skin. She was gorgeous.

_Scare myself to death_

_That's why I keep on running_

_Before I've arrived_

_I can see myself coming_

"Ichigo, are you okay?" I asked gently my hands reaching out to hold her but falling down to my side again. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to go about this. "I'm f-fine." She whimpered, trying to smile through her tears. Now, where have I heard that before? I stood there for a second more then walked towards her and embraced her gently.

It was almost as if something inside her clicked and then she was sobbing into my shoulder. My grip around her tightened and I felt tears rise up in my own eyes.

What was wrong with me?

Why was I here holding the girl in my arms that could just leave me and go cry in the arms of the one she truly loves?

"Kish…I-I'm so…s-so s-s-sorry.." She gasped out and attempted to pull away as if shame at her own foolish tears had taken over her. I shook my head and kept my arms locked tight. "Stay with me." I whispered before I knew the words had left my lips. What did I mean by that? I didn't know but I hoped she didn't assume I meant anything by those words. She nodded her head then started wailing incomprehensible nonsense that could only be made out when she said, "He's gone!" My heartbeat quickened but I swallowed the sound by my own harsh thoughts of how selfish I was in a time like this.

She cried all night in my arms and I held her until she was fast asleep, just as the morning sun's rays peeked over the treetops spilling over the light of the coming day.

_I just wanna feel_

_Real love fill the home that I live in_

_'Cause I've got too much life_

_Running through my veins_

_Going to waste_

I carried her to her home, up to her room, and into her bed. I paced around her bedside for a few hours, thinking over what I could possibly do. What the hell could I possibly even say?

After so long of being in doubt, I felt shadows of anger creep up on me and soon I was ranting inside about how stupid that damn Masaya was for leaving Ichigo. What kind of an asshole does that to such an innocently sweet and caring girl? What had she done to make him leave? The feelings that swarmed around like a torrent of bees made me feel like I was going to explode.

I had to leave. This wasn't right, she didn't even love me.

I walked towards her window and looked back at her one last time, before my destiny could come up and slap me in the face. I was getting married to someone else, I shouldn't be here. I had obligations and she had enough heartache to deal with without me here to act as her crying shoulder, only to find someone else in due time.

My head whipped back around, the image of her peacefully sleeping face forever etched into my retinas. "I love you…" I whispered to her sleeping form.

"Wait!" She yelled to me as I started out her window and suddenly the sleeping girl was wide awake and running towards me.

_And I need to feel_

_Real love,be in love ever after_

_I can not get enough_

"Don't leave." She whispered so softly I wasn't sure at first if I had heard her right. Why did she care if I left or not? "I have….so much to return to. I must leave, Ichigo." Her hands reached out and pulled me to her. "NO! I won't let you leave me again." She yelled and for a moment all time stood still in my mind. What could she mean by that?

"W-what do you mean?" I managed to squeeze out of my suddenly dry throat.

She half-smiled up at me and her eyes told the story of something I had never seen reflected inside of anyone. A love that had been buried so deep inside came bursting out of me and I couldn't control myself.

I gently held her face in my hands and kissed her with all the pain and love that had been torturing me since the day I'd seen her in the park testily challenging me in that way she has. She kissed me back with so much passion yet gentle love that I felt like I would never have the will to pull away.

When we did separate we panted for a minute or so before she blushed bright red. "Kish….there's so much I have to explain. But when I saw you last night all that love for you came back just as strong as it had been when I had denied it so long ago. I'm sorry that I made you wait, I just-I thought I was meant to be with Masaya but we kept fighting the more time we spent together and every time I felt my love for him weaken. I just, couldn't stop thinking about you though."

When she finished I felt a wave of raw emotion come over me and I grabbed her face hungrily to my own. "I love you so much Ichigo. Do you realize how much I've wanted to forget you but couldn't stop my heart constantly longing for you?" She shook her head as little tears came down her cheeks.

"Masaya broke up with me yesterday. He told me that when we…" she turned so red I thought her head might explode, "_you know_…I called out your name and not his." She said this very softly and I blushed deep red too.

Wow…who knew?

"I think I know what you mean." I stuttered over the fact that she had done that. My innocent Ichigo. But I guess she wasn't so innocent now. "Well…he wanted us to, and he kept asking so I finally just gave it to him. I guess it didn't quite go as planned." She managed an awkward little giggle at this and my face pulled up into a half-smile.

"Do you wanna go see a movie with me?" I asked very quietly, staring out the window at the sunlit city below us.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" She asked teasingly and I blushed a little as I turned to look at her and hesitantly nodded my head, everything from before forgotten. There was never a time without her in my mind and everything else at home was no longed important.

She smiled so bright it couldn't compare to the sun, high above us in the beautiful blue sky.

"I'd love to."

_Come and hold my hand_

_I wanna contact the living_

_Not sure I understand_

_This road I've been given_

_Not sure I understand_

_Not sure I understand_

_Not sure I understand_

_Not sure I understand_


End file.
